lol, pathetic defensive mear hint of a human.  smeared paint, fading in and out of lifes visions.  getting weak and feable.  i laugh in your face.  i am the great and wonderful.  people like me rule the world.  my life, my wonderous girlfriend, my amazing boys, incredible friends...we all exist in this perfect world, we are the ones who rule.  let me just shove you back into your place in life.  back into the medicine cabinet. stable is a good thing.  a normal size head is a good thing.  making sense of what the hell comes out of your soul and fingers is a good thing. yes, some people are on the end of a crusty negative border, but realizing health and a concern for living and i offer a standing ovation.  hoorah for you...for all of you.  exterminating, spring cleaning.  retrace your steps and listen to your own words.  is this the attention that you so crave?  okay, i'll give you 5 minutes of my thoughts...you are a disgrace.  you are not sinking into hell, you are stuck in hell.  you were born in hell and only the lines of fingernails scraping down the walls of your exsistance are prominant...not important.  you scream but are voiceless against your own padded walls.  bouce around a bit little girl.  beat some more.  you are an animal in a zoo who is there to be stared at and laughed at and mocked for enjoyment.  the worlds enjoyment.  that's all you deserve from my brain...next.

so, slow day at work today.  made great money though and just finished depositing an awesome check into the bank.  shaved my head again on my way home.  i love the way my bald head feels under my lady's fingers. 

my wonderful little love is curled in a tiny ball in the middle of the couch.  she is sick and tired and absolutely glowing with beauty.  oh, oh, no, now she's up and running around.  what is she doing?  lol, cute little sicilian woman...works like a horse no matter how sick and how tired she is.

ha, psycho women.  lol, i love it.  i love to watch them twist in their own misery.  my woman is so perfect. people just have no idea how lucky they are to even have someone like her in their lives.  she is  taken for granted sometimes.  it's a small select few people that i applaud for being so wonderful to her...bill...you are the most amazing man i have ever had the honor to meet.  you can put a smile on loves face when the rest of the world has seemed to fail her...lisa, critical as she is, loves her like a daughter.  and tracey...though you don't know it, you brought her out of the closet and into this wonderful world of lesbianism for me.  thanks for being her lesbian dictionary.  love, you are incredible.  thank you for being such a significant person in my life.  i'm not sure if i tell you enough how much i appreciate you.  i'll tell you now...you are an inspiration...a soft gently breeze, the smell and warmth of fresh laundry.  i look up to you...grown up, child, lover, friend, family...you complete so much of me...ending a chapter and beginning a book.  i love you.
so, this weekend was perfect...friday we went out to chi chi's and had a drink then came home and had a beautiful night.  then saturday we went to work together then ran errands, which included seeing lisa.  that was great.  saturday night i went out with jess and had a drink and sat and talked.  i love spending time with her.  her and my best friend broke up...i guess it's for the best.  they needed to do what was best for them and andy went away to iraq for forever.  then i came home and had mind blowing sex for what seemed like days.
so, sunday i went up and spent the entire day with my mom.  surprisingly...great.  she is getting married in sept.  i told her that love was planning on proposing to me next month and she gave us her blessing.  gasp.  so, i got the rest of my things and packed them all up, said good bye and came back home.  i spent a beautiful night with my lady going through all of my old memories with her. 

tumbling rough waves

so, my first wonderful valentines...i think we might just have broken my bad luck holiday/special occassion curse.  hoorah.  i had the most incredible time with love these past couple of days.  she means so much to me.  we celebrated yesterday as our 6 month anniversary and valentines day because we both worked today.  so yesterday, when the boys went with their father, her and i ventured around and went sex toy shopping.  we got 3 new vibrators, condoms and massage lotion stuff.  then we went and picked up her paycheck and bought cigarettes and went to the grocery store...all in heavy anticipation of getting home and having crazy wild sex.  it was so hard to sit next to her in the car and not tear into her.  she's so hot and was playing with the new toys teasing me and taunting me and showing me what i wanted.  oh, i got it alright.  late into the night. and it continues tonight.  so, when we finally made it home last night, we had dinner in bed, last cigarettes all around then painted each other with chocolate body paint.  god, she's got a beautiful body.  i got the compliment today, of being the best lover she's ever had.  that is an incredible thing to hear.  i love her so much, with every inch of my being and every color of my soul.  i couldn't make love to her with anything less than that.  so, tonight we have planned a long hot bubble and rose pedal bath together and will follow it up by dinner in bed again and endless sex, endless positions and endless love. 
oh, i had a great day today so far.  woke up late (on purpose) laid in bed with her for as long as i could before forcing myself to go make money, then she called me at work and asked me to come home early so i did.  i took her to work then went shopping!  i ended up buying a bunch of stuff for our new place.  we decided to throw away everything that we own and start over piece by piece.  starting a new clean life together so we're setting all of our tax return money aside and buying all new furniture and all new stuff.  so, then i took a nap so that i can be fully awake to rock her world all night long and well into tomorrow morning.  mmm.
so, that was our weekend thus far and it's only saturday....